New Year's Resolutions

Yes, it's that time of year again.

I honestly prefer to plan what I am going to change during the year and get on it right away rather than establish a list of things and then suddently try to set about doing them. However, as the following year is due to change so very much, I thought I would write a quick list and we'll see how I go.

1. Keep up with study. Yes, my plan is to keep up with the study from week to week. I'm not a crammer, and I'm too afraid that I somehow got into medical school by some statistical errror (stupid impostor syndrome strikes again) so I really need to keep up with things. Plus, I'm studying to be a doctor, and with this comes great responsibility. One day I will be like those doctors I work with who are incredible fonts of knowledge and full of kindness, patience and care for the patients that they work on and the people they work with. There are a few of you, and you are rarer than gold and more valuable.

2. Make time for family and friends. Make sure that relationships don't deteriorate at all. I'm not a regular visiting/phone contact person anyway, but it's important to me that I don't lose touch with people. I don't even send Christmas cards. Really, I'm very slack. So this resolution should read that I'm "not to get any more slack in my personal relationships." Why is it even here? Hooray, an easy one!

3. Stick to my budget. Hahahahahaha!!!
No, seriously. We have been pretty generous with the planned budget here, and I'm a big fan of beans, rice and fresh veggies, so it shouldn't be too hard. All I have to do is stay away from clothing stores and I'll be fine. Honest.

4. Join that running club and run that half-marathon I've been thinking about for years. This is probably the one I'm keenest about but am least likely to do. All it has taken in years gone by is a couple of broken toes and midnight encounters with thirty-something women who have had MI's (myocardial infarctions) and subsequent hypoxic brain injuries resulting in death, which were brought on during fitness kicks, and I have been put off. I need to pull my finger out and join a running club. Full stop.

5. Don't shave my head. Because we all need one resolution that we are really very very likely to stick to without any effort.

A Happy New Year to you all, and good luck with your resolutions! I'll be playing board games and drinking with friends, and eating whatever I can be bothered throwing together tomorrow morning. Honestly, I'm tired of cooking. Which, for me, is VERY new.

Celebrations!

The best thing that happened today is that I started this blog. I'm far from computer-illiterate, but this has been a challenge that has taken a couple of hours to try to get going. Just the passwords and log-ins alone have been a nightmare!

But on the bright side, it is done.

It is a beautiful day here, and all I can think of is how overwhelming everything is at the moment. I am about to leave one career and embark upon study for another. The frightening part is that I'm moving into something new, where it is going to be VERY challenging, and I am not entirely sure that I can do it.

I passed the MASSIVELY difficult exam, flew through the interview and have accepted a place in the course. But I'm not sure that my brain is actually big enough to cope!

I found an interesting description the other day that accurately describes what I am feeling. It is called Impostor Syndrome.

Basically, it describes the fear that I feel when I wonder whether the people who interviewed us have made a mistake letting me into the course, or whether there was a mistake on the exam that led to me passing without us actually being smart enough. People who I think of as being MUCH smarter than I am didn't pass the exam, or at least get a mark good enough to get an interview. Yet I did.

When I am logical, I can tell myself that I did well because I worked my arse off for a year getting ready for it all, and making sure that I would do as well as possible. A lot of blood, sweat and tears went into this little venture. It is this fact that reassures me that I will do well during my studies. No matter how hard it is, I'll work to the best of my ability to make sure that I do as well as my little brain allows.

So here goes. Wish me luck! And happy beginnings to this new little venture!