Wednesday, December 6, 2006
The best thing that happened today is that I started this blog. I'm far from computer-illiterate, but this has been a challenge that has taken a couple of hours to try to get going. Just the passwords and log-ins alone have been a nightmare!
But on the bright side, it is done.
It is a beautiful day here, and all I can think of is how overwhelming everything is at the moment. I am about to leave one career and embark upon study for another. The frightening part is that I'm moving into something new, where it is going to be VERY challenging, and I am not entirely sure that I can do it.
I passed the MASSIVELY difficult exam, flew through the interview and have accepted a place in the course. But I'm not sure that my brain is actually big enough to cope!
I found an interesting description the other day that accurately describes what I am feeling. It is called Impostor Syndrome.
Basically, it describes the fear that I feel when I wonder whether the people who interviewed us have made a mistake letting me into the course, or whether there was a mistake on the exam that led to me passing without us actually being smart enough. People who I think of as being MUCH smarter than I am didn't pass the exam, or at least get a mark good enough to get an interview. Yet I did.
When I am logical, I can tell myself that I did well because I worked my arse off for a year getting ready for it all, and making sure that I would do as well as possible. A lot of blood, sweat and tears went into this little venture. It is this fact that reassures me that I will do well during my studies. No matter how hard it is, I'll work to the best of my ability to make sure that I do as well as my little brain allows.
So here goes. Wish me luck! And happy beginnings to this new little venture!