Tuesday, December 12, 2006

New toys and nightmares

My new PDA arrived today. I would have been tempted to get it out and play while it was charging, but as if by magical coincidence one of the ladies I work with had the 
exact same model at work as I received today. So now I have been able to take a look at what it looks like when working while not needing to compromise on that inital battery charge. I know this is dullsville, but I am excited!

I had some dreadful nightmares last night and woke up terrified. I can't quite remember all of the details at the time, but I remember comforting myself by some self-talk during my dream, saying that the dreams weren't real and that they were symbolic of my feelings of helplessness and fears caused by the massive change in lifestyle that is about to happen. Yes, I told myself that in my sleep. Sad, isn't it? I am one of those people who know they are asleep and dreaming (lucid dreaming?)  and have some control over the situation. I have always suffered from graphic and terrible nightmares, so it is probably some kind of coping mechanism, rather than some new-agey way of knowing myself.

There is nothing quite like waking in absolute terror and panic and not quite knowing why. The tough part is that it sticks with you the following day and you tend to be jittery until you get a full night's sleep the next evening. I'm still a little twitchy - I made the mistake of drinking a diet coke earlier tonight and felt like I was shaking.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have yourself hooked up to an EEG for a few nights just to see whether your readings were anything out of the ordinary? Perhaps one day I'll have the chance. After all, aren't they keen for volunteers at the psychology departments of most universities?

Sorry if these posts have been kind of scattered. Work has been driving me nuts and the situation at the moment is stressful. I could be called back in to work the rest of the night at any moment. Oh well, it would be good for the "Textbooks and Beer" fund!

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