Thursday, August 9, 2007

My brain is running on half-power . . .

and I suspect my cat ate one of the mice that runs the wheel that supplies the power. Anyway, as a strange result, I'm feeling philosophical. It is a little bit like being drunk, but I am more co-ordinated and am legally allowed to drive.

One of the things that always surprises me in life is when you try something you never thought you could do, and you succeed. For me, the whole process of medical school has been a lot like that. I never expected to do as well as I did on the entrance exam. Sure, I worked hard for it. I never expected to get in, and didn't expect to do well in the first few rounds of assessment that I have done. But I did.

Perhaps we should all be more willing to challenge ourselves and do the things that we always wanted to do, especially if the only reason for not attempting them is fear of failure.

I feel both admiration and jealousy for people who seem to wander through life without a hint of self-doubt or fear of failure. But then again, I think I would rather have a well-developed sense of my own fallibility than fly along feeling bulletproof.

I guess there is a happy medium somewhere that we all need to find. Perhaps I need to push my level of confidence from "I don't know if I can but I am going to work at it so it happens" to "I know I'll be able to do it and I'm working hard to get there." Life would be a lot less stressful.

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