It is a strange and exciting time as a third-year. The fourth-years are all getting their intership placements and are finding out where they will be for their first year of working as doctors.
Not all are happy, of course, but I think that on some level we are all grateful to live in a country where there is still work for the local graduates. (This may change in the next couple of years as local intern numbers increase even more, but I'm not going to go into that now.) Internationals used to be assured of a place, but now they have to be quite lucky to get an internship in this state, and their chance of getting a spot at one of the big popular places is pretty much zero.
I am getting excited at the prospect of actually getting out and working again, but that thrill is dampened by the constant exams that we sit before we can get there. I know I will get there, but so many smart people around me have had to repeat exams from other rotations this year, and I wonder if it will be my time to do so soon.
It always confuses me when a supervising doctor describes my knowledge as excellent, because in my head it really isn't. When I read drug charts I have to think to work out what the drugs are because I haven't seen them that regularly, and when they write the brand name rather than the generic one it can throw me off.
In addition, in my earlier years of medical school I was surrounded by people who I think are a lot cleverer and know more details than I do. That said, on the bright side, I think I'm pretty good at remembering details when they are actually cemented into my memory. I remember stories that people tell me at parties from years ago, because I find them interesting and because they just stick.
I'm no good at learning lists, so when I list things off it is because I'm working it out on the spot. This works for me, as I like contemplating things and analysing them. Luckily it has gotten me this far.
I was thinking the other day that I'm actually proud of myself for getting this far. I'm in a really good place, and am happy with things, in spite of the stress and challenge (or maybe because of it).
Anyway, I am going to keep blogging a little more after a little break, but have decided to make this blog private, so that I can share my thoughts but in a more controlled manner. If you would like to continue to read the blog, please email me via the link in my profile. Thanks!