Saturday, September 12, 2009

The long, draging days

I am home again for the weekend, and it is lovely. I bought some cheap flights a few weeks ago, and I am so glad that I did. Monday morning will come far too soon, and I'll have to fly back to the place of dust, heat and noise.

Only two more weeks of this, and then I can rest in my own bed for good.

I thought that the hard part of rural would be different. I thought I would be more actively sad.

Instead, I find myself to be constantly tired, having trouble sleeping, and feeling worn down by everything. Resting isn't refreshing. Early marks don't have that same thrill - I am going "home" but not really going home for the evening.

I can't be bothered having afternoon naps when I get the chance.

I am not thrilled about things that I would normally be excited about.

I feel like one of those little children who is so tired and is completely miserable, but won't or can't go to sleep. The ones you see wandering around half out of it, rubbing their eyes and glaring at everybody. You tell them to go to sleep, and they yell, "NO!", run elsewhere and continue being miserable and tired.

I know I miss home a lot, miss the people and that these feelings are completely normal. God it's tiring.

The rural place I am at is really good. Thankfully.

If it weren't, it would feel like I'm in purgatory. Yes, I'm being dramatic. Remember, I'm the sulky little kid who won't go to sleep. ;)

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