Enough, already

I am so exhausted right now. I feel like I just want to lie down and sleep for months.

I am happiest when I'm busy and have a list of things to do, but right now I just get to sit back and watch the anaesthetist do most things, and when the surgery is happening, I am pretty much watching somebody watch somebody else, which is the most exhausting kind of watching of all.

I would jump in and assist the surgeon, except there are third-year medical students on prac who should be doing it before me.

I would jump in and help intubate or put lines in, except there is a paramedic student there who takes precedence. I can sort-of see the point of this, except she is only in her second year out of four and is not very keen to touch a real patient, and I am in my last year and almost a doctor and will be expected to be able to be competent at managing airways in six months. Sorry, please forgive my frustration.

We are in the last week of an eight week rotation, in which we have been changing areas every week or two. This is thoroughly exhausting, as we have very little idea of what we are supposed to be doing apart from turning up every day. There are no lectures, the only teaching we get is from the staff we are working with on the day, and to be honest it feels like such a token exercise, which is a bit of a concern considering that this is the only critical care rotation that we get all year.

I would love to go to a lecture or three rather than take myself through a set of slides that may or may not have anything to do with what I am learning. I don't deal well with not having goals. I am very goal-centered.

Three more days, then I go on holidays, and then I have my Obs&Gynae rotation. I am looking forward to digging into this rotation, figuratively speaking. Bring on the babies!

Things are looking up

I had such a happy day today, walking around the hospital (and working, of course!). One thing that has really struck me this time around is how much better the day seems when I'm friendly and helpful to the people around me, be they staff or patients.

I have also noticed the difference in attitudes that you get when you wear your own clinical clothes and a stethoscope, compared with when you wear a uniform. Most of the differences seem to come from junior doctors. Anybody who treats another person poorly or ignores them because they are wearing a uniform is a jerk and needs to wake up to themselves.

I hate it when somebody looks straight through me, and this happens a lot less when I am dressed in "doctor" clothes. Most interns are nice, but I have had one or two look down their nose at me and be very rude a couple of times when I have gone to the bed of a patient in my role as a radiographer. Seriously people, wake up.

Now that I have passed third year, I am getting VERY excited about fourth year. The big rotation that I looked forward to last year was psychiatry, and I did it first, so the rest of the year was a hard slog. It was all very interesting, but there were no other rotations that held the same sense of "ohboyohboyohboy".

Most of fourth year is exciting for me. I don't plan on working in any of the areas, but they are all very interesting.

I'm doing:

Neurology, Clinical Pharmacology & Obstetric Medicine

ENT, Opthalmology and Emergency/ICU/Anaesthetics

Paediatrics

Obstetrics/Gynaecology

Elective.

I'm the least thrilled about neurology, but I chose it because it is interesting, and it is an area that I want to get better in. The same principle applies with clinical pharmacology. I think I should be good at these areas, both as a future intern, and as a potential future shrink.

They are also very varied, which will make it all fly by. I can't wait!