New blog to follow

A previous commenter mentioned her blog, and I liked it so much that I had to link to it here:

Wellness Rounds.

I'm a huge advocate for looking after your personal health, both physical, mental and every other aspect of your life, so this is just the kind of thing I am passionate about, and it would do you some good to have a read, too.

I know that it is drummed into us all of the time - doctors and medical students don't take enough care of our own health. This is bad for us, and if we end up unhealthy as a result of lifestyle choices, our patients are less likely to believe our advice when we counsel them to change their ways.

Plus, we end up miserable and ill, and nobody really wants to end up an unhappy and sick, particularly if your entire day is spent looking after people suffering the exact same issues, right?

We don't need to be health fanatics, but a little moderation, exercise, stress relief and balance (where we can fit it in) can go a long way.

Ironically, two months into internship I'm feeling better both physically and mentally than I have in a long time, and I was genuinely happy by the end of medical school. I got into some healthy habits to cope with the extreme stress I felt when starting out, and as a result, they have helped me feel much happier now that I have gotten used to life as a junior doctor.

What have I learned works for me? Meditation (relaxation, mainly), moderate exercise with my significant other (making it social), and eating well.

My favourite tip so far? I read from various sources that it was a good idea to have some kind of ritual when you finish work at the end of the day that would help you disconnect from your "work time" and help you enter in to "home time".

For me, that is going for a nice walk or run with my husband. I get to have a good chat and get some incidental exercise. I know it isn't much, but it has gotten to the point where it doesn't feel like exercise any more. I know I'll go through rotations where this isn't possible every day, but it has been lovely being able to establish this habit.

For other people, the ritual can be five minutes of relaxation and deep breathing in the car before getting out when you arrive home. Others need to spend a certain amount of time alone in their own space when they get home from work, so they can switch off and re-energise before entering into their family space.

The point is that we need to be able to detach from work in order to live a full and well-rounded life. Medicine can be all-consuming, but this does not produce healthy or happy doctors, and being a well doctor is a vital thing that you can do for your patients, yourself and for your family.

Take care.

Things I Have Learned During Internship #1

You can survive a whole busy evening shift on nothing but adrenaline, two biscuits from the ward kitchen and a bottle of water.

But you don't want to do this, and it is awful.

Alive

Yes, I'm still alive.

Internship has been challenging so far. Each day gets better. Things run smoother. I can handle more.

I like to think that in a year's time I'll look back and realise how much I have learned.

How to Survive: Christmas!

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and can enjoy the celebrations with family and friends.

Christmas Day at my family's place tends to be an epic event. It goes for the whole day. If you are like me and are an introvert, and also have a few family members who you really have difficulty being around for any longer than a few minutes (NPD/antisocial/obnoxious/racist), it can help to have a plan of attack in order to get through the day without being rude in response.

Here is my survival plan for the day:

1. Distraction

When things get too much, there are other things I can do. There will be no less than three playful dogs in the yard, a cocktail bar and if I really have to, there is a quiet and dark room where I can go and read for a bit or meditate.

Also, the majority of people will be lovely. I will find urgent things to go and talk to them about.

2. Diversion

"Yes, I am now a Doctor, no I can't take a look at that skin lesion/advise you on your medication regime/tell you whether or not you have a legal case against that ED who made you wait more than 30 minutes when you went in with a sore toe. Go and see your own Doctor, and look over there, isn't that the cocktail bar/amusingly drunk cousin/dog stealing beer? Excuse me, I need to pee."

3. Deception

Yes, I may plead diarrhoea in order to escape. Nobody will doubt the Doctor, right?

4. Drinking

Of course, I am not entirely serious. Being a bit tipsy around people who are being incredibly rude/racist/obnoxious would lead to me shooting my mouth off and putting a big dent in the fake family harmony that is Christmas Day.

But a little bit, plus trips to the bar to mix cocktails for other family members? It might make for some fun.

5. De-stress

There it is again, me in that quiet, dark room. I even have some guided meditations loaded onto my iPhone just in case. I kid you not.

Family is a precious thing. In most cases, you do as well as you can and you all get by. In some cases, it can be traumatic, damaging and maladaptive. My family is a mix of both.

We all have people with whom with are thrown together once a year through circumstance or genetics. In small doses, I can enjoy the positive sides to their personalities, and if I have a plan, I can leave it at that. I know I'm also far from perfect.

Have a lovely Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

Done

We are done.

I feel like I could sleep for about ten years. I have been so focused on the exam that everything that comes afterwards is really have only half-considered and comes as a bit of a surprise.

Dinner? Birthdays? Parties? Really? I remember these things, but still felt that they were ages away - after all, they were happening once the End was over.

It feels so very strange to be out the other side when we have spent four years of hard work struggling to get here.

It has cost me a few friendships, a lot of stress, a lot of money (which will make itself up in the coming decades), but I have gained so much more.

Would I do it all again? Definitely. Maybe I would change my mind in a few years, but for now I am very happy to still be here.

The long stagger to the finish line

We are in our final few weeks of medical school, and have one big exam before it is all over.

I'm spending quite a bit of time just reading over things. Partly for the exam. Partly because I think they are things that I should at least refresh before next year starts.

In a few weeks, God willing, I will be a doctor.

I will be free of the medical school, but back in the clutches of the hospital system.

It will be interesting.

For now, I'm just stumbling along during the last phase of it all. I could probably pass without study, but the thought of tripping and falling at this point just scares me too much.

I'll write more once the exam is over. After that, who knows.

Testing for old bitterness

I looked up my old high school on Wikipedia today. Just for fun. It had the usual drivel about mission statements and mottos, which was probably cut and pasted directly from the school website.

It also had a list of Notable Students. The list reveals a lot about what the school values, and why many of us could not take it seriously or had our egos crushed as we grew up within its confines.

The list includes a car salesman, a lawyer and a couple of mid-level athletes. It also includes a journalist who recently wrote some home truths about school life in the public sphere, and has been removed from the official school website listed as a source for Wikipedia. He has been blacklisted, I guess, for not representing the school's ideals.

Who else doesn't represent the school's ideals? The medical specialists who have graduated and now work within the hospital system, along with all of the other health professionals who are prominent in their fields. None of us count.

The university professors don't count, either.

Neither do the artistic, the service men or women, or the internationally successful musicians. There are some astoundingly successful people who have graduated from my school, but you wouldn't know it. I guess they just don't fit the mould.

When I read the people they have listed on their site, it seems completely incongruent that they have lauded their chosen few while ignoring the rest. What sets these people above the others? From what I can tell, it is three things:

1. They stayed in the small town after school;
2. They have donated money and/or awards and been present at awards nights; and
3. They have personal family connections within the school community.

It all makes me very glad that I left high school behind a long time ago. Thank God I now live in the wider world. It is liberating.

Just for fun, you too can look up your old school on Wikipedia just to see if the rejection you felt in high school has lost its sting. It is a handy litmus test to tell just how much bitterness is left.